5 reasons you feel lonely

 5 reasons you feel lonely

Loneliness is an increasingly serious problem. One might be tempted to say that it is a modern disease of civilization. Loneliness causes us to suffer from numerous mental illnesses, and it greatly reduces our self-esteem and willingness to take action. But why do we really feel lonely? Here are five likely reasons why you feel loneliness and find it hard to change.

1. you spend time with the wrong people

We can feel a feeling of emptiness even when we surround ourselves with a fair number of people. Especially if in our eyes these people don't match us. Alienation often accompanies us when we can't find our way around the topic the group is discussing and are excluded from ongoing conversations. Inappropriate people can also be toxic, making us feel that our relationship with them is one-sided and we get nothing from them. This makes us feel even more lonely. If the group doesn't want us to be a part of it, we will never become one.

2. You feel that no one understands you

This is a very common phenomenon, especially among teenagers who are overly intelligent or sensitive. Such people have a very hard time finding their way in a society that does not understand and often does not even accept their view of the world. During adolescence, we notice that we are different from the rest of the group, and perhaps these differences lead over time to the fact that we are unable to find a common language with friends and feel misunderstood. This deepens our sense of loneliness. Very often in such situations we can become depressed, which will only make it more difficult for us to interact with others.

3. You are afraid of closeness

People who are unable or afraid to establish a more intimate relationship often feel more lonely. Humans need touch, after all, they are herd animals, and a sense of community and physical contact tightens bonds. We can see people breaking the boundary all the time, and it can really hurt us when we don't have anyone close enough to build physical closeness with. Of course, the same goes for spiritual or psychological closeness, there's a lot of bitterness with them, because their absence strongly affects our mood and increases the chance of depression.

4. You are experiencing a lot of change

If there's a lot going on in your life at the moment, you feel like the world is rushing by too fast, you're likely to feel much more alone than if you had a stable financial and living situation. Constant change fuels stress, and stress reinforces feelings of powerlessness and loneliness. This is especially true when you are fresh out of a long relationship, such as a relationship, and trying to start over, or when you move into a new place where you don't know anyone, or change your place of work or study.

5. You don't know how to start a relationship

This is a very big problem, especially among people who are young and spend a lot of time on social media. Because messaging has replaced conversations, we are more uncomfortable when it comes to face-to-face confrontation. It's also harder for us to read other people's emotions and intentions. That's why sometimes stress and sometimes just a lack of knowledge of how to start a relationship and how to talk to another person deepen our feelings of loneliness. Fortunately, this can be easily trained, simply by trying to make new contacts, preferably with people similar to us in character or interests.

How to get over a breakup? Magical ways

 How to get over a breakup? Magical ways

In rituals related to the desire to distance someone or something from us, we use the black candle, because it is the candle itself that has this effect. The simplest ritual is to cut that energetic bond that further connects us to the person who left us. Unfortunately, this ritual is simple only in theory, as it requires a lot of concentration and willpower - we have to clear our mind, meditate for a long time to finally imagine this connecting thread and cut it. It is important, however, that we really stay focused and properly visualize this action. Sometimes it will be necessary to repeat this ritual several times, or even more physically cut the bond. Instead of just imagining the act of cutting itself, we can cut it in the air with a pendulum or a rock crystal. Attributes, of course, need to be washed with cold water afterwards to prevent them from taking on negative energy.

Therapist Colin Tipping suggests another way of dealing with a breakup, namely Radical Forgiveness. This is based on the idea that we will only be able to forget when we get rid of the negative emotions. So it is not enough to cut ties with a particular person if anger or regret remains in us, paralyzing us from opening up to the future. We need to look at the injustice that happened to us from a much broader perspective. There is a meaning to everything, maybe we will meet someone who will be the love of our lives, which would never have happened if we were stuck further in a previous relationship. Every suffering is also a lesson that will enrich us forever, and according to karmic law, after suffering will come happiness. So there's no need to wallow in excessive grief, just accept that life consists of both ups and downs.

Some people to get rid of their negative emotions shout, cry or throw things - it actually has a very good effect. We throw out what makes us angry in a short period of time and regain our composure after a while. A more subtle but equally effective way is to draw a mandala. A mandala is a symbol that is a combination of a circle, or what is transcendent, spiritual, and a square - what is earthly, bodily. The very act of creating a mandala in Tantric Buddhism replaces meditation. When creating a mandala, our consciousness comes to the fore, we should do it mechanically, not consciously choose colors or pattern, but let our emotions and thoughts reflect in the mandala. With each successive pattern, they will become calmer, and so will our emotions. However, we must not forget that creating a mandala is only half of the meditation - the other is the destruction of the mandala. We burn the piece of paper with our symbol on it, so that everything bad goes away from us along with the smoke. If we don't feel up to creating a mandala, we can simply write our emotions on a piece of paper and then burn it, just as we would do with a mandala. The effect will be similar, although weaker, so you will have to repeat the ritual more times.

It is also good to perform a ritual to comfort our broken heart, so not only cutting ties with a former partner, but fully restoring peace of mind. In this ritual, symbolic ties will also be cut, but the main reason for performing it will be to regain harmony, so we will not use a black candle, but a blue and pink one. The pink one is supposed to open us a chance for new love, and the blue one - symbolizing contact with the beyond - will give us the support of good spirits in this ritual. We write the name of the person who wronged us on the candles, tie the candles with a green ribbon, light them and begin to meditate. Out loud, we say goodbye to our partner and cut the ribbon. We meditate until the whole candles are burned out, and then we bury their remains.

Each of these rituals is meant to give us peace and a chance to improve our fate. Probably the first emotion that will accompany us during the parting will be anger, but we must not give in to it. Trying to use spells against a person can turn against us, so it is better to use those rituals that will restore our inner harmony and bring us the reward of new love. In difficult situations, you can also always go to a specialist for help, then the effect of rituals will be stronger and you will get the desired result much faster.